An Unlikely Master

Bemidji, Minnesota, February, 2011. My son, Robb, twenty-two at the time, competed in black belt sparring. Robb caught a kick to the head that resulted in him losing the match. It wasn’t just the points that got him, it was the physical effect of the kick; he couldn’t give it the right effort the rest of the match. Afterward he noted that he wasn’t going to compete in sparring anymore: “I’m going to be an attorney, not a Taekwondo olympian, and I want to keep all the brains I can.” Good call, Robb. He’s now a year into legal practice and proving he’s got some good skill to bring to the table.

Recently I was greatly moved in reading the story of former NFL tight end Ben Utecht. Getting hurt in football is just part of the gig, right? The gig of concussions went places he’d never imagined. My son Robb played tight end in high school. Ask him some time about the spectacular head-on special teams crash he doesn’t remember, and about his rubber-legs when getting off of the bus after the game in which he continued to play after said spectacular play. The extra-big highlight reel, MVP push, often proves itself to have been a bit overboard. Continue reading →

August twentieth, two-thousand-sixteen. Blythe and Jason get married in a service that makes my eyes moist. The beginning of a lifetime together.

December, nineteen-eighty-five. A rerun of M*A*S*H was playing on the TV. Bonnie sat on the couch. I was doing some sort of exercise across the room, wearing shorts that would be way too short in 2016 (or for any year since then).

I stopped what I was doing, sat down next to Bonnie, and said, “So, you want to get married or what?”

“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“I’d love to.”
“Really?”
“Yes”
“Great!”
(Hug. Kiss) Continue reading →

I recently returned from my fifth year helping to run our Rotary district’s week-long youth leadership camp. How does a volunteer team of more than forty mostly-20-somethings help to empower nearly 150 mostly-17-year-olds?

A paraphrase of what one camper said last year summarizes it well: “I came here expecting to learn a cardboard cutout of what it means to be a great leader. Instead, you showed me me.” The camp curriculum and process gets to the heart of recognizing, respecting and using individual uniqueness and gifts, both one’s own and those of others, as the most powerful way to lead. Continue reading →

At one point I operated two separate Taekwondo studio locations myself. Certainly not all by myself; I had a number of black belts who would assist as they were able and also cover classes in my absence. That was important because I had one overlapping class night and could not be in two places at the same time.

I ended up with the two locations — one my own original location and one my instructor’s, which he passed on to me — for two reasons. First, I hoped to ensure that both communities would have the opportunity to train in Taekwondo into the future. Second, I hoped to earn some semblance of livelihood through Taekwondo instruction and, between the two locations, I felt that might be possible.

As soon as one enters the realm of traditional martial arts studio operations there are lease commitments, overhead costs, facility maintenance needs, and constraints of operating Continue reading →

“Hello, this is Chris.”
“Hi, Chris, it’s Tom Marchetti; does that ring any bells?”
“Gee, your name sounds familiar, but sorry, I’m not making the connection.”
“I was at RYLA; my mom is Sue Ma . . .”
“Oh, gee, yeah, TOM! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize your name. I remember you clearly.”

So it continued for a bit with Tom, a camper several summers ago at our Rotary District 5580 Rotary Youth Leadership Award camp. A rising high school senior then, he has graduated from college and is working in a professional sales position. He thought of me as someone he could contact as part of his outreach.

Before we wrapped up that phone conversation, I stopped to ask Tom what about RYLA has stuck with him. He didn’t hesitate before he told me this:

“You know that Spider Web challenge my family (team) did? We completed it, but I think almost all of us had touched the strings in some way. When our facilitators asked us after how we think it went, we all knew we had touched the string and at first no one wanted to say anything; we were so happy and relieved to complete it. I knew then what integrity was. We admitted it, tried it over, and accomplished it. I still think about that all the time.”

My head and heart were exploding! Continue reading →

Father’s Day 2016. I got my Father’s Day text message from my son early in the morning: “Happy Father’s Day, dad. I love you very much.”  That was simply the most warming text I could get.

Robb’s text got me thinking back to what we’ve shared as a boy and his dad: our relationship, experiences, the good, the bad the ugly. The joys and and the regrets. At times I’ve thought, if not uttered, “If I could do it over . . .”.  But why? He’s married to an amazing young woman, completed law school, has a budding legal career, is a heck of a decent and fun guy, and loves me very much. Perfect.

One thing we’ve shared nearly our entire lives together has been Taekwondo. Continue reading →

There it is again: An empty roll of toilet paper in the holder, a new roll right there on the shelf. And again: A used plate on the counter, directly over the empty dishwasher.  And again: Granules on the island, a remnant of “spoon spillage” during the transfer from container to glass. What about that greasy Pam overspray ignored on the counter? How about that goopy fingerprint on the cabinet door? The washed sauce pan, clean on the inside but needing obvious attention on the outside?  Did I mention toothpaste splatter on the bathroom mirror? Is there a contest to see how full a trash can might get before someone has to take out the bag?

Why can’t everyone just clean up after themselves, help out, notice something that needs attention, step up and do something on their own and, Continue reading →

Note: This post was originally begun in early November, nearly two months ago. I put it aside as I processed life matters in the wake of the events I describe. I now complete it on New Year’s Day.

(November 9, 2015) I am writing this while in Fall River, Massachusetts, the city where I was born and raised. My mom and I are waiting to pick up my step-dad’s remains. He was cremated last week. Twenty-two days ago, I flew here on short notice, the day after John went into the ICU with severe pneumonia. We endured two weeks of very intensive care of John, a time during which he was initially in a dementia and then soon sedated and intubated with the hope he could overcome infections and all sorts of system irregularities. Continue reading →